**What if I stumble? What if I fall?
What if I lose my steps and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble and what if I fall?
I hear You whispering my name
"My love for You will never change" **

- "What if I stumble" by DC Talk

Thought I might just put this across: "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

Amen to that. I find it unbelievable and let me add: disgusting.

Today's service got me thinking. Yeah, in my past few years it's been hell...past few months is hell for me as well. Isn't it hell for anybody?

I've been through being a class group leader, I've been through being a class monitress, I've been through being a prefect, I've been through being part of the class committee, I've been through being a subject rep, I've been through being a counsel member, I've been through being a student leader, I've been through being a head of the council, I've been through being the leader of a group in camp or course, I've been through being part of EXCO and I've been through being a leader in my CCA. In fact, I can't remember any years of my life in my schools where I don't hold any leadership position. Yeah, I've got people telling me that I'm lucky because I hold so much power. I've got people who just simply dislikes me or judges me unfairly because of my positions. But you know, what is the point of all these power? Sure, it's a reward from the many times I had to serve others. I started as a member, I ended as a head. You have to serve before you can lead. And yes, that's true. It just got me thinking, how many people actually appreciated whatever I've done? I know the school hardly acknowledges this. And I wonder how many people have I touched? But let me say this: Having so much positions only rob me dry. At the end of the day, I still feel empty and unpurposeful. I love serving, and when I served, I don't serve it for anyone, I just...serve. It's a pleasure for me to serve because the experiences are just so rich. And I seriously regret not being a Christian earlier because I cannot turn back time to be a better leader and I cannot give up all that I've done as sacrifices.

I regret many things in my life...and hence I aim not to repeat that.